Weighing In (Heavily) on Quixtar's Mike Mohr

My next door neighbor, who shares my views about relationships built on trust, has seen last Monday’s post on the “livesturnedupsidedown” blog to which I referred in an earlier post. She was over for tea today Dick. She too was infuriated at the language of the Fanista contract and asked that I post the following few words on her behalf. I suggested she simply start a blog of her own and she refused, citing the yet unfilled spots #22-30 in the “Mike Mohr suit of bloggers he doesn’t like”. She is afraid of him…and she has every right to be. She cannot understand why you employ such a ‘snake’ as she calls him, and as you know Dick, neither can I.

I seriously doubt that she will be registering as an Amway or Fanista user anytime soon. In fact, she is spreading the word about the Untrustworthiness of your companies to everyone she meets. They say that good news travels fast Dick. But as any marketing man (except those on your staff at Amway Quixtar) knows, bad news travels faster.

Anyway, it is posted below. Do you think perhaps that hers may reflect the thoughts of any other Michigan voters? After all, all of us are known by the company we keep…and employ.

Here is her missive to you and Mr. Mohr:

“The paternalistic rulers of Quixtar Amway have come to regard the IBOs and the electorate as children to be seen but not heard. Hence the ever-widening gulf between a remote, disconnected family and executive staff and a population with a growing list of concerns that its ‘rulers’ refuse to discuss.

(Note to Orrin Woodward and the Team – you can’t mend bridges when the opposite bank is sinking into the river. Your only course of action with people like this is to ratchet up the public embarrassment factor. Go for it, and do it in a BIG way.)

I can imagine your marriage contract Mr. Mohr. Let’s imagine what the prospective Mrs. Mohr might have been asked to sign:

“I, Mike Mohr reserve the right, in my sole discretion, to refuse service, terminate this marriage, cancel any and all requests, or to change, restrict, suspend, or terminate your access to all or any part of this relationship and/or my website (mikemohr.com, referred to hereafter as “the Site”) at any time, for any or no reason, without notice or liability.”

“You agree to compensate, hold harmless, and defend me from any claims, damages, losses, liabilities, costs, and expenses, including attorneys’ fees, resulting from your use or misuse of this marriage and/or the Site in violation of these Terms of Marriage.”

“I, Mike Mohr, make no representation or warranty whatsoever regarding the completeness, accuracy, correctness, integrity, reliability, currency, adequacy, suitability, functionality, availability, or operation of this marriage or the content, features, or applications provided on, or accessible from, the Site.”

“In no event will I be liable, nor do I assume responsibility for any direct, indirect, special, incidental, or consequential damages arising out of or in connection with my abuse of or your inability to depend on this marriage (or the content or services provided by or on, or accessible from this marriage or the Site), or otherwise, even if I am advised of the possibility of such damages.”

“I reserve the right, in my sole discretion, to change these Terms of Marriage at any time. Updated versions of the Terms of Marriage will be posted to the Site, and are effective immediately. Continued use of the Site after any changes to the Terms of Marriage constitutes your consent to such changes.”

“The relationship formed between you and I includes, without limitation, the following: (1) the terms and conditions set forth in the Mike Mohr Marriage Registration Agreement; (2) these Rules of Conduct, including the agreement to arbitrate, and (3) the Terms of Marriage posted on the Site. The same, along with anything else I wish to cover may be modified, supplemented, or amended from time to time by myself without prior notice or liability by me.”

[Source: www.mikemohrsmarriageguidelines.com] (note to reader: this is not a real website…..yet)

Perhaps as you read this Mr. Mohr, you’re saying to yourself, “[Expletive] it, I should have had her sign THAT agreement!”

And don’t even TRY to convince us otherwise with “But marriage is different! I would NEVER write such a thing for my marriage!” Two words Mr. Mohr: BOLL ACKS! (She’s a Brit remember)

Marriage is a relationship built on trust Mr. Mohr; as are ALL relationships. It is clear to all of us who read your language and observe your actions in the office that relationships mean nothing to you. (Except maybe that one that pays your salary and that, ONLY because it pays you.)

Sure, you talk a good game, but everyone knows that talk is cheap, even when it spews forth from the mouth of one who fancies himself to be an excellent communicator. (If the shoe fits Mr. Mohr...) In your case, your fancy words are just a shiny brittle covering for your evil heart. You must have been very badly hurt as a child.”

Dick, it went on much longer, but I must be off, so the rest will have to wait for another post. My question for you is, as usual, how much longer will you let this circus continue? Thanks to Mr. Mohr, your name is no longer synonymous with free enterprise, character and integrity.

You must ACT to repair the damage. Please Dick. LEAD!

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